2003
Volunteer Leader Training Guide
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
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Introduction
The lessons children and youth learn about life come more from the behaviors
demonstrated by caring adults than the words they hear. Modeling appropriate
behaviors is the key to socializing the next generation to be successful adults
of high character and compassion.
Target Audience
• Intergenerational families (grandparents, parents, youth)
• EHC leaders
• 4-H leaders
Advanced Preparation
• Prepare and practice the opening activity.
• Arrange for equipment to play the song, if you choose that
variation.
• Copy the handout.
Objectives
• Help participants understand that the things we say must be
reinforced by the things we do.
• Commit participants to setting a better example for children
and youth.
Opening Activity: "Do As I’m Doing"
Invite the group to stand and follow your directions. Lead the group through
a series of body movements (clapping, arm flapping, turning, etc.) and ask them
to follow your VERBAL instructions. After several instructions where both
your verbal instructions and physical actions match, make them contradict each
other. Instruct one thing, but DO another. The point of the activity is
to demonstrate that "Actions Speak Louder Than Words."
Variation 1: If your group will respond to a sillier approach, you can
do the same as above, but sing or state the following verses from a children’s
song.
Do as I’m doing. (Perform some actions as turning around or
flapping your arms)
Follow, follow me.
Do as I’m doing.
Follow, follow me.
I can do it high or low. (Rotate or roll your hands above your
head and then below your knees)
I can do it fast or slow. (Rotate or roll your hands quickly
and then slowly)
Repeat twice. At the end of the second time, perform either the high or low
or fast or slow actions just opposite as stated.
Variation 2: Play the song "Show Me" from the My Fair Lady video or
soundtrack. Ask the following questions to start a discussion.
Why was Eliza frustrated with Freddy?
What is the intended message of the song?
What lessons can be learned for our own lives?
Note: For educational purposes, the lyrics for this song may be viewed
at:
http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/myfairlady/showme.htm
Major Teaching Points
"Actions Speak Louder Than Words" is a cliché we’ve likely heard many times.
What other clichés have you heard that mean the same thing?
Possible Examples
• Practice what you preach.
• Talk is cheap.
• Walk the talk.
• Don’t tell me, show me!
• Put your money where your mouth is.
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear
what you say." It has been said many ways, but the message is the same -- it is
our behaviors that really speak our message, not our words.
Too often our words fall victim to our actions. We may speak of kindness, but
are we kind? We may talk of the importance of education, but do we read? We may
speak of living within our means, but are we in debt? We may talk of honesty and
integrity, but do we twist the truth to make a sale or extend a deadline?
The greatest contributions we make to children and youth will come from what
we do, not what we say. The lessons in life are greatest from role models that
they’ve grown to respect, trust or idealize. Role models might be famous stars
they’ve never met. But more likely, they’re caring adults they’ve spent time
with. As one parent put it, "The key to being an effective parent is to be a
good person yourself and then hang around your kids long enough that you rub off
on them." Maybe we would accomplish more from quietly living the example than
shouting rules and regulations from the rooftop.
Interestingly, one study found children receive over 2,000 requests a day --
most from parents. With so many requests, children often tune out the requests.
They become parent deaf. So instead of nagging or yelling, try setting an
example. Do something. Show them. Let your actions convey the message. Try
talking less and living better.
Discussion Questions
1. How can we be more effective in walking our talk?
2. Is the problem that we "talk too much" or that we "behave
too little" or both?
3. Why do children follow the example of some adults or peers,
but not others? What makes a model appealing?
Dr. Steve Dennis, Extension Specialist - Family Life
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