Many families consist of two working parents, many are headed by a single
working parent, and some households consist of multiple families. Busy
schedules, increasing responsibilities and changing family structure often make
it difficult for families to spend time together, let alone eat meals together.
Family mealtime is very important. Research says dinner or the evening meal is
one of the best times for families to reconnect, share daily events and continue
to work on their relationships. Breaking bread together promotes good nutrition.
School-aged children who eat alone in front of the television tend to overeat,
while younger children tend to eat fewer nutritious foods when isolated at
meals.
Children who regularly eat with their families tend to have healthier eating
patterns that contain more fruits and vegetables and less fried foods, soda and
saturated fat compared with those who do not eat regularly with their families.
Children who eat with their families tend to have a higher intake of calcium,
iron, fiber and vitamins -- which are important for children’s growing bodies.
Children learn and form many habits during mealtime. Establishing positive
eating habits in childhood years help children build better skills that last a
lifetime. As families pass the bread and pour the milk, they also convey values
and establish traditions. They get an opportunity to work on their good manners,
which includes appropriate table conversation and paying attention to others.
For example, when each family member takes a turn to speak and listen, it
reinforces the importance of polite conversation. They also learn many of the
less tangible qualities of human living such as courtesy, appreciation,
consideration and respect.
According to the American Dietetic Association, 38 percent of family cooks
said their children have a major influence on what is purchased and prepared, so
why not get them involved in the cooking and grocery process? Most households
spend 35 minutes preparing and 30 minutes eating dinner each night. This time
represents a significant portion of the time families spend together each day.
Eating Together Has Benefits
Try to schedule meals so that everyone will know when the meal will be on the
table. Trying to get everyone together for a meal -- especially every day -- can
seem like an impossible task. Keep in mind that meals do not have to be at the
same time every day, as long as the family knows when the meal will be on the
table. A survey conducted by the Iowa Extension Service showed half of the
families ate “most” meals together and many more said they would like to eat
together more often. With creativity and commitment, families can make time for
meals together more often. Research shows families who eat together have seen
some of these benefits.
Better Communication -- Dinnertime conversations can help parents show
and express concern for their children, hear about triumphs and defeats and
learn how to help them through childhood crises ý both large and small.
According to Dr. Tom Baranowski, a psychologist and Baylor professor of
pediatrics, dinnertime conversations can also help parents refocus on their
family after a busy day and understand that they’re not the only ones facing
challenges.
To help families start talking, recommend they try the activity on Handout 1,
Table Time Conversation If children bring up problematic issues, suggest
an after-dinner talk to work out a solution together. This allows the child to
save face and ensures that the dinner table is a safe place for children to
bring up difficult topics.
Improved Nutrition -- Mealtime is an important time for families. A
more balanced, nutritious meal is likely to be prepared when most or all of the
family eats together. Shared meals can also save money.
Mealtime is an important time for families to be together. Parents can help
develop good eating habits by making mealtime pleasant and relaxed. It can be a
time to enjoy each other’s company and to teach children about food and
nutrition. According to research:
-- Children who eat in a supportive family environment have healthier diets.
-- Children choose more nutritious foods when eating with their mother than
when eating alone.
-- Children do better nutritionally when they eat regular meals rather than
snacks.
Shared Learning -- When families eat together, parents can teach table
manners, social skills, family values, a sense of community and basic cooking
skills.
How Do You Get Your Family Back to the Table?
Try some of these strategies to get your family to the table.
Make mealtime pleasant. Children learn social skills from watching and
listening to you. Be positive. For example, say “You are keeping your elbows off
the table; that’s good.” Set a good example by taking turns talking and
listening without interruption. Postpone negative conversations about grades or
behavior until another time.
Children may ask why manners. Tell them good manners are a way of showing
respect for others and will help them feel more confident in social situations
when they are away from home. Discuss the points on Handout 2, Mealtime Tips
for Parents.
Be creative and flexible about when and where you eat. Make the most
of every opportunity instead of worrying about following a strict schedule. Keep
in mind that family meals can be shared at home, in a restaurant, at a park or
near the playing field. Simply eat with your children whenever possible, even if
it isn’t every day.
Serve a variety of foods. Use the Food Guide Pyramid and family
preference as a guide when planning meals. Nutritionists say that a parent’s job
is to offer a variety of foods in a pleasant atmosphere; the child’s job is to
choose how much and whether or not to eat. You may want to encourage children to
taste a small bite of each food served. Don’t label foods as good or bad, health
foods or junk foods. You may set up a situation where your children may feel
deprived of certain foods and may find other ways to sneak them in. If you offer
all types of foods with a trusting atmosphere, your children will likely choose
a nutritious variety.
Keep meals simple and easy.îSave the elaborate menus for when you have
time to prepare and enjoy them. Enjoy the shared experience; those are the
memories that will stay with family members. Don’t let family mealtime fall to
the wayside because of busy schedules.
Eliminate interruptions and distractions. Create a welcoming
atmosphere and make the most of your mealtime by trying these ideas:
-- Turn off the television and radio so everyone can focus on conversation
without distraction.
-- Don’t answer the phone. Let the answering machine pick up calls or turn
off the ringer to avoid interruptions. A phone call can always be returned after
dinner. If you don’t have an answering machine and feel you must answer the
phone, answer the call and get off the phone as quickly as possible.
-- Remember children often take more time to eat than adults do. Take your
time through dinner and enjoy the extra few minutes sitting at the table before
cleaning up.
Involve the Youngsters in Meal Preparation
Give each person a task for each meal, such as choosing the menu, setting the
table, making a salad, pouring the milk or cleaning up. The life skills your
children will learn include teamwork and cooperation as well as basic shopping
and cooking skills. Choose the appropriate involvement for children according to
their age.
Find recipes that include choosing ingredients, measuring, chopping (select a
plastic knife for small children) and mixing. Cooking reinforces the basic
principles of reading, math and science. Using everyday experiences as teaching
tools reinforces the¾importance of developing good basic school skills. Children
are more likely to eat the foods they have helped prepare. You may want to try
some of the following age-appropriate activities.
Toddlers
- Have meals at regular times.
- Let toddlers eat with the family as soon as possible. They like company
as they eat, and it makes them feel a part of the family.
- Set an example. Toddlers like to imitate. Seeing you eat is the best way to
teach them to eat new foods.
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Preschoolers Involve preschool children in learning experiences with
food. Some things toddlers can do include:
- tear lettuce into small pieces for a salad
- spread butter or jam on bread
- place toppings on pizzas or snacks
- shape cookie dough into balls
- scrub vegetables and fruits
- wipe tables
- snap fresh beans
- pour liquids into a batter
- mix muffin batter
- shake a milk drink
- spread peanut butter on firm bread (This may be messy!)
- knead bread dough
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Four and five year olds Four and five year olds are learning to control
smaller muscles in their fingers. In addition to the tasks above, offer these
experiences as well:
- rolling bananas in cereal for a snack
- juicing oranges, lemons and limes
- mashing soft fruits and vegetables
- measuring dry and liquid ingredients
- grinding cooked meat for a meat spread
- beating eggs with an eggbeater
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School-age children School-age children can be involved in meal
preparation in many ways. In fact they can assist even before it’s time to start
the meal. You may want to involve them in menu planning, finding recipes,
clipping coupons, grocery shopping, reading the advertisements in the newspaper
before making the grocery list as well as assisting their younger siblings in
food preparation.
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USDA/ARS Children’s Nutrition Research Center at Baylor College of Medicine.
Easter H. Tucker, Family and Consumer Sciences Specialist
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