2002 Volunteer Leader Training Guide
How to Brighten Your Day
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Including Handouts
Preparation • Handout
• Outline for Teaching
Lesson
Preparation
For background knowledge, consult the units described on the bottom of the
handout. Read through the following teaching suggestions and customize them
to your personality. You may also trim certain questions in order to fit
your time slot. Make a copy of the handout for each participant.
Handout
Outline for Teaching Lesson
There are many things we do that make us more miserable or more happy. For some
reason, humans often continue to do things that make them miserable. Yet by
examining our actions, we can discover ways to lessen our misery and
increase our happiness.
[Provide handout to participants.]
We will talk about four different areas in which we make decisions that make us
more miserable or more happy. The first area is the area of worry. Have you ever
worried when it served no useful purpose? Have you let anxiety about everything
from toxic pesticides to fear of crime intrude on your peace?
[Invite participants to share things that they worry about.]
Worry is only useful if it leads to positive action. For example, we may wash
our fruit if we are concerned about pesticides. We may choose to get
deadbolts for our doors if we are worried about intruders. On your
worksheet, list some things you worry about that are not productive.
[Provide time and encouragement for participants to make a note of things
that may generate needless worry.]
What are some ways that we can choose peace in our lives?
[Invite participants to give examples. You may also be prepared with an
example of your own about a way you deal with worry and replace it with peace
through positive action or re-channeling your thoughts.]
The second area is wanting. Have you ever wanted something very badly but knew
that it was not wise to get or buy?
[Encourage participants to share. Examples might include big houses, new
cars, new clothes – or any number of things.]
Letting our longings and cravings override our good sense can make us
miserable. In contrast to being driven by our longings, we can find ways to
use our talents to create. We may find growth through writing, sewing,
reading, singing, designing, painting – there are hundreds of ways. What are
some ways you can bring more happiness to your life by choosing growth
rather than wanting?
[Allow comments and encourage participants to make note of their ideas on
their worksheets.]
The third area is anger. Research shows that people who are angry and believe
the worst about others actually damage their own hearts. Anger is not healthy!
Are there times when we feed our anger or allow it to grow? (For more
information on this subject, see the web unit “Dealing
with Anger”.
[For example, most of us get mad in traffic. Sometimes we get mad at family
members. Invite comments and use of worksheet.]
Is it possible for us to cultivate love and caring for people even when they
have irritated us?
[Yes! We can try to understand their actions. We can choose to see the good
in people.]
In the final area, many people make themselves miserable focusing on
themselves. They may worry about what people think of them or they worry
about their faults. In fact, many people spend a lot of time thinking about
their mistakes and shortcomings. (For more information on this subject, see
“Making
Peace With Yourself” on the web or “Learning
and Growing: Using Your Talents”. A focus on the self can create a lot
of misery. Note on your worksheet any examples of focus on self that
increase your misery.
[Provide appropriate time for participants to make notes on their
worksheets.]
In contrast to focus on self, research shows surprising benefits to being
involved in service. People who serve and care for others are more likely to
be healthy and happy. What are some of the ways that you are already
serving?
[Allow for responses.]
Are there things you can do to make your current service more satisfying?
[Sometimes we must set some limits. We may be able to visit a neighbor
weekly, but we may not be able to visit every day. Also, if we are serving out
of guilt or obligation, we may not enjoy the benefits of choosing to serve
gladly and wisely.]
When we pay attention to signals from our emotions, we can design our lives to
be less miserable and more happy. Hold on to the worksheet and watch for
ways you can change unhelpful habits of worry, wanting, anger and focus on
self to life-affirming habits of peace, growth, love and service.
For more information on this unit, contact H. Wallace Goddard, Extension
Family Life Specialist,
wgoddard@uaex.edu or
501-671-2104.
H. Wallace Goddard, Ph.D., Family Life Specialist
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