2002 Volunteer Leader Training Guide
4-H and the Family

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Including Handouts

Introduction • Target Audience • Objectives • Preparing for the Meeting • Workshop Outline and Time Schedule

Introduction

One of the important strengths of 4-H is that it is a family affair. Traditionally, all members of the family have been welcome at 4-H activities. But today’s family is changing.

What are the structures for today’s families? What can 4-H expect from families whose structure has changed? How can 4-H help to build strong families?

Participants will be involved in discussion and activities to solve these questions.

Target Audience

• Adult 4-H volunteer leaders

Objectives

By participating in “4-H and the Family,” the leaders will:

• Understand today’s family structure and the transitions families are undergoing.

• Realize that the commitment to 4-H differs for each family.

• Identify six characteristics of strong families and how 4-H can contribute to the strengths.

• Become familiar with activities that promote strengthening families.

Preparing for the Meeting

• Review this “4-H and the Family” Teaching Guide and the Club Leader Guide.

• Assemble all materials needed for the session. Materials needed:

– “Find Someone Who...” Activity (1 per leader)
– Pencils
– Flip chart or newspaper sheets
– Markers
– Tape
– Blank paper
– Overhead projector
– Transparencies:

* “Definitions”
* “One-Earner”
* “Dual-Earner”
* “Remarried or Blended”
* “One Parent”
* “Commitment”
* “Family Wellness”
* “Communication”
* “Appreciation”
* “Positive Time Together”
* “Ability to Deal...”

– “4-H and the Family” Club Leader Guide (1 per leader)
– Evaluation – “Reflections” (1 per leader)

Workshop Outline and Time Schedule

TIME IN MINUTES

MATERIALS NEEDED

INVOLVING THE LEADERS

10 minutes

(prior to start)

-“Find Someone Who...” Activity

-Pencils

I. Pre-Meeting Motivator:

As leaders arrive for the training, give them the activity, “Find Someone Who...” Ask the leaders to find others who fit the categories and sign their name.

2 minutes

II. Introductions

Welcome to the series, Arkansas 4-H: Building Effective Leadership. You are all leaders who are very committed to improving the lives of the youth you have chosen to work with.

You are also committed to learning and growing and improving your skills. Your commitment is demonstrated by your willingness to participate in the second level of the Building Effective Leadership training. We will be exploring seven very critical topics including:

1. 4-H and the Family
 

2. Recruiting and Supporting 4-H Volunteers
 

3. Understanding Tween-Agers
 

4. Leadership: Skills You Never Outgrow
 

5. Teaching Tools and Techniques
 

6. A Matter of Record
 

Discovering You II – Values

The first topic that we will cover during this session is “4-H and the Family.” Through activities and discussion, we will examine what your perceptions of 4-H families are and the structure of today’s families. We will review characteristics of strong families and discuss how 4-H can build family strengths.

It is now time to meet everyone who will be participating in this training.

5 minutes

1. (Find out who has the most signatures. Ask the person to read the first category and have those who qualify stand and introduce themselves.)
 

2. (Continue to read each category and have the qualified leaders stand. Be certain everyone is introduced.)

III. What’s Your Perception?

All families are not the same even though you may think that they are. Let’s try to look at families in more than one way. We will do some activities that will let you experience how your brain may sometimes stop you from exploring other possibilities. This will show us how we often- times jump to conclusions without considering other alternatives.

10 minutes

Newsprint or flip chart

Marker

Paper

Pencils

A. Perception Blocking Activities

“ One optical illusion that many of us are familiar with is color. Color can play tricks on the brain so we don’t see things as they really are.

Another activity includes the following. Draw 1ine dots on a piece of paper in this formation:

• • •

• • •

• • •

Now without lifting your pencil, draw through all nine dots using only four straight lines.

1. (Instruct the leaders to try the activity.)
 

2. (Share the solution:)

• • •

• • •

• • •

3. Where do our preconceived ideas come from?

• Family
 

• Friends
 

• Religion
 

• Experiences
 

• Knowledge

– How do preconceived ideas get in the way of our problem-solving capabilities?

• Limit our possibilities
 

• Prejudice us
 

• Close our minds

A third perception-blocking activity is the following situation:

One day there was a serious accident. The man who was driving was killed instantly. His son was rushed to the nearest hospital for emergency treatment. The surgeon walked into the operating room, took one look at the boy and said, “I can’t operate on this child – he is my son!”

How is this possible?

(Solution: The surgeon is the boy’s mother.)

2 minutes

B. Family Commitment to 4-H Differs

Your experience with these three activities, I hope, will teach you how your perceptions can inhibit clear thinking. I hope you will apply this information during this session as we discuss “4-H and the Family.” We need to be careful how we view a family’s involvement in 4-H. Be careful to not compare one family’s high involvement level in 4-H to another family’s involvement level. When we compare, we are making judgments. Also, each person’s definition of involvement differs.

For example: Club I – All the parents attend 4-H meetings, and John’s parents come once a year. One person may say John’s parents sure aren’t involved.

Club II – Parents don’t usually attend meetings. Jenny’s parents come once and the leaders say, “Wow, Jenny’s parents are really showing interest.” Do these examples sound familiar to you? Perceptions and definitions really do vary.”

1 minute

IV. Structure of Families

One factor that might affect a family’s involvement in 4-H is the structure of the family.

Let’s take a closer look at families. Listen to the following quote and be ready to agree or disagree with the statement.

“The family in its old sense is disappearing from our land and the very existence of our society is endangered.”

1. (Ask leaders to raise their hands as to whether they agree or disagree.)

This quote was taken from the 1859 Boston Quarterly Review. The family is in transition now and has always been changing.

1 minute

Overhead projector

Transparency, “Definitions”

A. Definition

Before we can look at statistics about families, we need to define the word family from the perspective of the statistics we are using.

(Show transparency – “Definitions”)

Definition of a Family Household

“-- a householder and one or more people living together in the same household who are related to the householder by birth, marriage, or adoption.”

This definition is a structural one which has limitations but for reviewing the trends in families, it is useful.

2 minutes

Club Leader Guide, “4-H and the Family”

B. Overview of Statistics

(Hand out one copy of the Club Leader Guide, “4-H and the Family,” to each leader and instruct them to turn to the statistics on page 1.)

As of 2002, the U.S. Census Bureau estimated that there are 71.8 million family households in the U.S. Of these:

- 51.7 percent were joint husband/wife or married couple families

- 12.2 percent were mother/child families; no father

- 4.2 percent were father/child families; no mother

- 31.9 percent were non-family households, either one person living alone or 2 or more persons

Arkansas statistics include the following (2000 Census):

- 54.3 percent married couple families

- 12.1 percent mother/child families

- 3.8 percent father/child families

- 29.8 percent non-family households

C. Characteristics of Family Forms

I will now be presenting some information about various family forms. Later you can review this information in more detail in the Club Leader Guide.

2 minutes

Overhead projector

Transparency, “One Earner”

1. Intact Families

“Intact” husband/wife families mean that }he partners were in their first marriage. Intact families can be divided into two types which we will more closely examine:

• One earner

• Dual earner

a. One earner either husband or wife

(Show transparency – “One Earner”)

• Best adapted to the demands of corporate economic structure. That is, the demands of the workplace in terms of the amount of time devoted to work, job transfers, etc., are more easily manageable.

• One person can devote time to child care or to caring for disabled or dependent family members

• More time for volunteer work – depending on how time consuming the child care or care for others is.

• Problem area is the pressure to provide an adequate standard of living. The expectations and pressures are great to achieve a certain standard of living.

2 minutes

Transparency, “Dual Earner”.

b. Dual Earner

(Show transparency – “Dual Earner”)

• More competent structure to provide maximal income for the family and achieve the quality of life that the family desires.

• More adequate form for equality between husband and wife in the areas of work, sharing household, child care and other domestic responsibilities.

• If all family members are satisfied with arrangement and if adequate child care is provided – the nurturance and socialization of children are comparable to that provided by single-earner families.

Some of the special needs of dual-earner families include:

• Depends on someone outside for child care and sometimes for other aspects of family functioning and maintenance because there is no one to provide these services on a day-to-day basis.

• No clear cut guidelines to harmonize career activities and ambitions of both partners and the roles and tasks for parenting, marital relationships, and adequate family functioning.

• Must learn to balance work/home roles, husband and wife roles, and parenting roles. Pressure on wife is intense. There is little difference in the amount of men’s time spent on domestic pursuits whether the wife is employed or if she is a full-time homemaker.

• There is little time for the wives to spend on themselves. They must learn to cope with working harder, more efficiently; lower standards in some areas such as housework, child care, etc. They must take a hard look at setting priorities.

2 minutes

Transparency , “Remarried”

2 2. Remarried or blended husband/wife families

(Show transparency – “Remarried”)

• Remarriage is a common form of marriage.

• There is a tendency towards a higher percentage of divorced than widowed people in the remarried families.

• Within this group both one-earner and dual-earner families are found and probably more of the latter – dual-earner families.

• Previous marital experience may contribute to successful second marriages but not always.

• Parenting is now shared, but it is still not easy. The intrusion of pri-vacy can be really difficult. There is great pressure to succeed this time but to what standard?

• There are no established rules or role definitions for these complex new relationships.

• The question of order and discipline is a real struggle as the two families try to combine into one household.

• The role of the noncustodial parent and grandparents may provide more obstacles to the blended family.

• The remarriage may improve economics, but it may also be more complicated by economic demands from the first marriage.

2 minutes

Transparency, “One Parent Families”

3. One Parent Families

(Show transparency – “One Parent Families”)

This type of family consists of one parent and one or more children under the age of 18. This person may or may not have been married.

One-parent families have some of the following struggles:

• Economic disadvantages – many live at poverty level. They have a welfare dependence which may result in pressure to remarry for money.

• Social and emotional difficulties including complications of guiding,nurturing and disciplining children alone.
 

• Socialization of children can be weak because the one parent does not take the time to do this. Child care can be inadequate because it is too expensive or there is not time to do it adequately.

• Physical strain and fatigue are often experienced. The one-parent families need support systems for parenting, household maintenance, health maintenance and social relations.

Some advantages to the one-parent family include:

• The absence of the abusive parent results in a more nurturant and liveable family situation than when there were two parents.

• If several caring adults are involved in the day-to-day lives of the children, the children learn to relate to a wider circle of adults which can improve the children’s socialization skills.

20 minutes

Newsprint or flip chart

Markers

Tape

V. 4-H Expectations and the Family

Now that we have a better understanding of the current family forms and some of the characteristics and needs of the various forms, let’s consider the expectations that 4-H has of families.

Together let’s brainstorm a list of the expectations that 4-H has of families.

1. (List all of the expectations that the total group gives on newsprint or a flip chart.)

2. (After the list is compiled, divide the group into four small discussion groups or more depending on the total size of the group.)

3. (Assign each group to consider the expectations from the point of view of one of the four family forms and answer two questions:)

• Are these expectations realistic? Yes or no.

• If not, how could the expectation be modified or what could be done within the club to help the family fulfill the expectation?

4. (While the groups are discussing these questions, make and post a second sheet of newsprint with four categories – one for each family form – next to the list of expectations as shown below:)

Family Forms

Expectations of 4-H

Intact Single Earner

Intact Dual Earner

Remarried “Blended”

One Parent

1. Example: Entire family attends all club meetings

2. Example: Serve as project leaders

3. Example: Host club meetings

Yes

Yes – Members

No – Parents

a ____ %

No, Attend

a ____ %

No Attend

a ____ %

5. (Have each group share their responses and fill in the categories on the newsprint.)

6. (Encourage the leaders to involve families in their clubs by using the methods described in Lesson #6, “Supporting the 4-H Family,” of Level I of the Building Effective Leadership series.)

10 minutes

VI. Time Out

(Encourage the leaders to take a 10-minute break.)

1 minute

VII. Characteristics of Strong Families

If we still agree, after our discussion of the changes in families and their different levels of involvement in 4-H, that the family is a key unit worthy of our concern, then it is important to identify some key characteristics of strong families and discuss how 4-H can help to strengthen families. All families have strengths and we can learn more about these strengths that make families succeed.

How do families succeed? The question has been studied very hard by researchers. More than 3,000 families in every state in the nation have participated in research which has identified six patterns which prevail in strong families.

Let’s discuss these six patterns.

1 minute

Transparency, “Commitment”

A. Commitment

(Show transparency – “Commitment”)

Commitment to the family means a promise of time and energy. It means that the total family is committed to seeing that each member reaches his or her potential. It does not mean that individuals suffer so that others in the family can grow. Family mqmbers are com-mitted to helping and promoting the happiness of each other. There is a strong sense of teamwork.

The benefits of family commitment include:

– It assures each member the right to be heard.

– It affirms the positive qualities of each member.

– It creates a supportive atmosphere for change.

1 minute

Transparency, “Family Wellness”

B. Family Wellness

(Show transparency – “Family Wellness”)

Family wellness is the belief in positive human interaction. This belief helps family members trust others and learn to give and receive love. Family wellness is not the absence of problems. Strong families have their share of troubles, but their trust and love enable them to meet their problems effectively.

Wellness is a way of life, a way of healthy living that feeds the body, mind and spirit. It involves the sharing of common values, a faith in God and a faith in humanity.

The benefits of family wellness include:

– Each family member feels accepted.

– The ability to deal with crisis is improved.

1 minute

Transparency, “Communication”

C. Communication

(Show transparency – “Communication”)

This quote by Virginia Satir expresses the keys to good communication in families.

“How wonderful it is to have someone see your side of things and really understand how you feel. It’s a great thing to experience.”

Effective communication in strong families involves clear, direct channels between the speaker and the listener. Strong families have quarrels and don’t always agree, but they get things out in the open and talk about them. They communicate so that they arrive at a solution that considers each person’s needs.

One of the benefits of communication is that it improves family interaction.

1 minute

Transparency, “Appreciation”

D. Appreciation

(Show transparency – “Appreciation”)

The showing of appreciation is a result of the interworkings of commitment, wellness, communication and the other family strengths as well. It involves being able to recognize the beautiful positive aspects of others and to let them know that you value these qualities. It also means being able to receive compliments yourself.

One of the most important benefits of family communication is the development of a healthy self-concept in family members.

1 minute

Transparency, “Positive Time Together”

E. Positive Time Together

(Show transparency – “Positive Time Together”)

Strong families spend a great deal of time together in work and play. They enjoy being together. Strong families intentionally cut down on the number of outside activities and involvements in order to minimize fragmentation of their family life.

We all have time to give – but we must take the time or you will give the “leftover time” when you’re cranky, tired, irritable or just plain exhausted. Families must try to spend “prime time” together when you have the energy, the inner peace, and the patience to give your best. Then families will have an identity as a group with which nothing else can compare.

1 minute

Transparency, “Ability to Deal with Stress, Conflict and Crisis”

F. Ability to Deal with Stress, Conflict, and Crisis

(Show transparency – “Ability to Deal with Stress, Conflict and Crisis”)

All of the previous strengths combine to make an inner core of power for families. This core serves as a resource for those times when conflict and crisis come. It helps to reduce the stress and prevents many conflicts. Strong families are able to survive and even grow in the face of hard times.

Families that have developed these six characteristics are more able to meet the challenges of today. The common base of unity they have developed makes it possible for them to draw upon the resources of each other as they are needed.

VIII. 4-H Can Build Family Strengths

Let’s relate these six characteristics of strong families to a family’s involvement in 4-H. We will now break up into six discussion groups. Each group will have five minutes to develop a list of the ways or activities that the 4-H setting can provide to build family strengths. We will then come together as a large group and share our ideas.

6 minutes

A. Methods

1. (Divide the leaders into six groups or for a small group break them into three groups and give each group two strengths.)

paper

pencils

2. (Discussion topic – Develop a list on a piece of paper of ways or activities that the 4-H setting can provide to build family strengths.)

– Commitment

– Wellness

– Communication

– Appreciation

– Positive Time Together

– Ability to Deal with Stress, Conflict, Crisis

3. (Allow each group to share their list and add any ideas to the other lists.)

15 minutes

B. Special Activities

Another way to build family strengths is to spend special time at a 4-H club meeting, a family night or a family camp and do some of the activities which are found in the Club Leaders Guide. The time that you spend designing and conducting family activities can be one of the most important investments you make in building strong families and keeping them involved in 4-H.

One of the activities which is described in the Guide you received today is “Appreciating the Strengths and Uniqueness of Each Family Member.” We will be doing this activity now. We will divide into groups of three people – this will be your family. Each of you will receive a piece of paper on which to draw an outline of a T-shirt. Each person then designs a theme about him/herself: something that he or she is proud of or known for.

The design can be a picture or words or both. After each person finishes designing his/her T-shirt, each person shares his/her T-shirt within his/her family group.

20 minutes

paper

pencils

1. (Divide the people into groups of three.)

2. (Pass out paper and pencils.)

3. (Repeat directions and allow 20 minutes for total activity.)

2 minutes

Evaluation, “Reflections”

Pencils

IX. Summary and Evaluation

We have looked at families in 4-H from many different aspects. Perhaps you are now more aware that families are in transition and have a different structure than what your family may have. Because of the different family structures, family commitment to 4-H can differ greatly.

All families do have strengths, however, and 4-H can provide many opportunities to build those family strengths. I challenge you to utilize some of the family activities with your own family and then at a club meeting. There is no better invention than the family and no substitute for it: so, through 4-H, let’s help build the family.

At the next session we will be discussing recruiting and supporting 4-H volunteers. Bring your list of volunteer roles that need to be filled.

(Pass out the evaluations and announce the leaders are free to leave when they complete the evaluation.)

Parts of this lesson adapted from:

• Building Family Strengths Curriculum, University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
   
• “Census Bureau Current Population Reports,” 2000.
   
• “The Diversity of Household and Family Forms,” Ronald L. Pitzer, Family Life Specialist, University of Minnesota.
   
• “Family Involvement in 4-H,” Leader Lesson by Laurel Swanson, County Extension Agent, 4-H, in Minnesota.

Adapted for use in Arkansas from Minnesota by Ella M. Geisler, 4-H Program Specialist.

Ella M. Geisler, 4-H Program Specialist

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