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Cooperative Extension Service |
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Agricultural
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4-H Programs
Life Skills
Evaluation
Dale Bumpers College
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2001 Volunteer Leader Training Guide
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Activity Have you ever played the game "Gossip?" This activity is similar? Choose three or four people to play. Take the first person out of the room where others cannot hear you and tell them a joke or short story of your choice. When this is complete, you leave and send in a second person; the joke or story is repeated to this person by the first one to hear it. This process continues until the last person has been told the joke or story. The last person to hear repeats what she heard to the entire group. The person telling the original story tells her version. For discussion:
This activity will bring out some points about our sending and listening skills that will be discussed in this lesson. It may help set the stage for better listening during the lesson. |
Setting the Stage for Effective Communication
Good communication depends first on a healthy, trusting relationship. When people are reluctant to share the truth, it is usually because they don’t have confidence in their own ability to handle the response. The risk is felt to be too great. But, by not telling the truth, a barrier is built. People have no connection with others and thus no closeness. Honesty brings people closer because it removes barriers. There are some things that should not be done, if this relationship is to develop. These are:
Don’t be bossy.
Don’t use sarcasm.
Don’t become angry or pout.
Don’t take things personally.
Don’t threaten others.
Don’t swear.
Don’t lose your poise.
Don’t lose your patience.
Don’t take a position from which you cannot deviate or retreat.
Don’t retreat, unless of course you may be wrong.
Communication is a two-way process. Feedback is a way of giving help when an individual wants to learn how well his behavior and message match his intentions. If you are not getting feed-back, chances are you are not communicating. Feedback is important when the listener has asked for your feelings.
Key points to be heard accurately as an effective communicator:
Speak clearly and loud enough.
Speak in an organized manner in a logical sequence.
Use clarifying inflection and precise words.
Speak from the diaphragm.
Look at your listener.
Speak from assurance or acknowledge that your words represent opinion.
Keep your emotions in check – express them in words ("that really makes me
angry").
Be responsive to the needs and questions of others.
Select words that have meaning to the listener.
Listen to yourself and be sure you are saying what you mean.
Handout 2: Ten Commandments for Good Listening
The feedback that you are given is an essential element in effective communication. The following points can help guide you in giving good feedback:
It is descriptive rather than evaluative.
It is specific not general.
It takes into account the needs of both the speaker and the receiver.
It focuses only on behavior that can be changed.
Clarification is sought.
It is solicited rather than imposed.
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Communication Quiz Ask each member to complete a communication quiz. The quiz is a self-assessment tool. The inventory will provide a starting point to help develop a strategy for improving your communication skills. Scoring is explained at the bottom of the quiz. At the end of the lesson, ask members to share scores and indicate an area they plan to work to change. |
Barriers to Good Communication
Even if we are conscious of all of the points of good communication, there still may be factors that complicate good communication. For example, cultural differences may influence how we interpret communication. Individuals living in different sections of the country use different terminology. There may be differences in the frame of reference. Your interpretations will be based on your frame of reference or knowledge of the subject and another person’s interpretation may be different.
Thinking faster than we speak may also be a barrier. Sometimes we feel we have to speak fast before we forget. This reduces the opportunity for feedback. If you are in a leadership position, making a few notes and speaking slower would provide an opportunity for feedback and better interpretation. The tendency to proceed without seeking feedback from the listener is a mistake that is made often. We just want to finish and do not think about the listener and what was heard or understood.
Elements of Communication
Real communication occurs when people listen with understanding and this requires that clarification be sought. When making a presentation or proposal or planning a training or special meetings– REMEMBER:
| People learn approximately: | People generally remember: |
|---|---|
| 1% through taste 2% through touch 4% through smell 10% through hearing 83% through sight |
10% of what they read 20% of what they hear 30% of what they see 50% of what they hear and see 70% of what they say or write 90% of what they say as they do a thing |
Handout 4: Dale’s Cone of Experience
Wrap-Up
Good communication doesn’t just happen. It takes a little thought and work on our part. Whether you are communicating at home or in an organization, you cannot assume that you already know what is going to be communicated. The following techniques will help you enhance your communication skills.
Following are some techniques that can help improve person-to-person communication.
Draw out – Ask questions that encourage the other person to give structure to his answer. Probe fully for each explanation. Or, stop talking – this allows the other person to complete his thoughts more fully. Finally never interrupt. This frustrates any effort to communicate.
Interpret back – Offer your interpretation of what you have heard to test for accuracy.
Present one idea at a time – People have a short attention span. To bombard your listener with several ideas at one time is to assure that at least some will not be remembered.
Get acceptance of one idea before moving on to the next – Before moving to a second idea, get some assurance from your listener that your first idea has been understood.
Be explicit – Say what you mean as precisely as possible. Generalities become ambiguous.
Be responsive to emotions – Convey an encouraging expression. Show sympathy, be reassuring and give praise.
Share your ideas and feelings – Set a trusting example.
Precede any negative comments with two points of praise – Establish an accepting attitude in the listener so he or she will be open and receptive to your words.
Work consciously on tact – Think of how you would respond if the tables were turned.
Place yourself in the other’s position – Choose words that aren’t put-downs or that imply anything negative about the listener. Your own good intentions are not enough.
References
Leadership Skills, Developing Volunteers for Organizational Success, Emily Kittle Morrison, Fisher Books.
Communication: Listening and Feedback, Family Community Leadership, Oregon State University.
Diane F. Jones, Family Consumer Science Specialist
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University of Arkansas • Division of Agriculture |
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