Older Is Okay

• Ask participants to think about older women. What image comes to mind? Have participants share their mental images with the group.

• Ask participants to tell why some people have a negative image of older women.

Say:	In 1997, 468,980 Arkansans were age 60 or older. This represents nearly 20 percent of the state’s population. More than half of these older Arkansans were women. Many of these women probably thought of themselves as dumb, worthless, or ugly. Today, we will talk about why older women often feel negative about themselves and about growing older. We will also learn how to become more positive about ourselves. First, let’s consider how we describe older women.
Ask:	What do you think of when someone talks about an "older woman"? What picture comes into your mind? (Give time for answers.)
	(Some answers that you may get.) 1. A woman with white hair 2. The way my grandmother looked when I was a kid. 3. Someone who walks slower, wears glasses, and takes a lot of medicine.
Ask:	What is your picture of an "ideal" older woman? (Give time for comments.)
	(Some possible answers.) 1. Someone in good health, enjoying life to the fullest. 2. Someone who enjoys her friends and family and shares her ideas with others. 3. A person who shows others how to grow old gracefully. 4. A person who accepts who she is and the years she has lived.
Ask:	Why do you think some older women have a negative image of themselves and of growing older? (Give some time for replies.)
	(Some possible answers.) 1. When we watch television, we see lots of young adults. Few television shows focus on older people in a positive way. Instead, older adults are often portrayed as forgetful, demanding, and sick. This makes it appear that it’s much better to be young. 2. Magazines written primarily for women are full of tips about how to look younger. Articles focus on make-up tips to cover up signs of aging. Magazines also describe how plastic surgery improves your looks by erasing wrinkles and sags. Then, there are the articles that show how women are "made over" by changing their hair-style, clothing, and make-up so that they can look younger. 3. Most advertisements feature young models. Older models are featured on ads that promote false teeth, adult diapers, and cemetery plots. 4. Americans like to be independent and take care of ourselves. We tend to associate growing older with loss of independence. Loss of independence makes us very uncomfortable.
Give out the handout: "Older Is Okay: Activity Guide"
Activity:
•	On the handout, "Older Is Okay: Activity Guide" have each participant write down one of the things that she does really well. For example, she may be really good at making peanut brittle. Or, maybe she is a good ceramics painter. Perhaps she is an extremely neat quilter. Other ideas: am a very safe car driver, is a good baby-sitter, has a "green thumb," is good with animals, etc.
•	After everyone has recorded what they are good at doing, have them write down a positive statement about how they look. For example, I have beautiful white hair. I look better now than I did 20 years ago. I have nice skin. I look good in slacks. I look really nice in bright colors. I get compliments on my fingernails. I have a really nice smile.
•	Ask each person to read aloud what they do well. Let everyone take their turn.
•	Next, ask each person to read what they have written about how they look.
•	Next, ask each person to read what they have written about how they look.• After everyone has read their comments aloud, ask the group how they felt about saying these things aloud. Was it harder to say something positive about how they looked? (Most people will find it more difficult to say that they look really nice. It Cs a little easier to say that they are good at doing some task.)
•	Discuss why it is hard to say that you look attractive.
	(Possible answers.) 1. We are taught to be modest and not brag. 2. We think older people aren’t supposed to look very good. 3. We may think that we look okay, but we are afraid that if we say so, others will laugh. 4. We may not pay as much attention to looking attractive as we once did. 5. We have compared ourselves to young people for so long that we really think we look bad.
Say:	We have talked about what causes us to feel bad about ourselves as older women. Now it’s time to think of ways to build up our self-esteem. Here are some suggestions.

Read the Following Aloud With the Group: (Taken from the handout mentioned above.)

1. Decide that you are going to think more positive thoughts about yourself as an older woman.

2. Say positive things about yourself aloud to others. For example, say that you are a good cook. Do not emphasize your faults, such as saying that you don’t cook as well as you did when you were younger.

5. Allow yourself to accept positive comments from others. Just say "thank-you."

6. Make a specific positive change in the way you act. Pick out one aspect of your behavior to work on.

7. Look at your relationships with others. Strengthen ties with people you enjoy most.

9. Write positive notes to yourself and pin them up where you will see them – for example, on the refrigerator.

10. Improve your communication with others. Start by working hard on communicating with just one other person.

Older women can be wise and have often had experiences that are valuable to others. Also, we can set good examples for younger adults if we will accept ourselves as we are – older. We are okay just as we are. But, as we learn to feel good about ourselves as we age, we will enjoy our life more fully.

Pictures of chickens, flowers, wheat, a boy looking through a magnifying glass, irrigation pipe, soybean pods, and fruits and vegetables.	Cooperative Extension Service





Cooperative Extension Service	Agricultural Experiment Station
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2000 Volunteer Leader Training Guide Older Is Okay

2000 Volunteer Leader Training Guide
Older Is Okay