1999 Volunteer Leadership Training Guide
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
What are the three types of grandparents?
- The custodial grandparent – they provide daily care and make the
decisions.
- The “living with” grandparents – these grandparents provide daily care for
their grandchildren, but do not have legal custody.
- The “day care” grandparents – focus on helping the child’s parent and on
fulfilling their own needs. These grandparents tend to be least affected by
their care-taking role because the children return home at the end of the
day.
What are the difficulties?
For some grandparents, health may be an issue. Older grandparents may
be having serious problems. There is also the issue of stamina. Many
grandparents report that they are emotionally and physically drained.
Many grandparents have money problems. They may be living on a reduced
income. They may have to use up all their savings.
The children may have come to the grandparent with lots of emotional
problems.
Other Difficulties
Taking on a parental role has effects upon a grandparent’s lifestyle.
It affects the amount of time he/she can spend with friends. Many
grandparents raising grandchildren report missing time for themselves.
Grandparents also become isolated from other members of the family, who may
resent the role that they have taken on. Other grandchildren may become
jealous.
What are the benefits?
A majority of caregiving grandparents report experiencing a greater purpose
for living. Some report that it keeps them feeling young and active.
It is also a chance to raise a child differently. Most grandparents say
that any sacrifices are well worth it. They receive great satisfaction
from raising their grandchildren.
How do the children do?
Children generally do very well in grandparents’ homes. There may be
some behavioral problems that are left over from the stress of the parental
home. One concern has been that the children may suffer academically.
What can caregiving grandparents do?
Seek out financial assistance. Contact your local Department of Human
Services.
Look for others in your situation. There is emotional support from
others who are in the same situation.
If there is not a support group in your area, start one, or ask your local
church to help you start one.
Get a book on the topic and read what others are doing.
If you have a computer, get on the internet. Maybe there is a support
network you will want to join on-line. Don’ forget to check out AARP
and other groups for seniors.
Take good care of yourself. You may need to take a class on stress
management.
There is free legal advice available. Seek it out.
Don’t let your grandchildren go uninsured. Check to see what you can
afford. Or seek out other low cost insurance such as ARKids First.
It’s been awhile since you raised your kids. Go to some parenting
classes or get some parenting books.
Seek help from other relatives to occasionally get away from your
responsibilities.
The reasons for kinship care span the spectrum:
- Death
- Divorce
- Addiction
- Unemployment
- Incarceration
- Poverty
- Illness
- Abandonment
- Violence
- Incest
- Teen pregnancy
- Court orders
In 1997, 3.9 million of the nation’s children lived in a grandparent’s home.
This is 6% of U.S. children.
By Dr. Betty Youngman, Extension Specialist – Family Life
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